I loathe rats.

Not the sewage vermin – I just hate them. But I loathe people who think that it is okay to ‘tell on’ others. It wasn’t acceptable when you were 4 in the playground to run and tell the teacher, so why is it any different now?

We have a neighbour, Peeping Joe (so named because his previous title of Peeping Tom could be considered defamation – he had no interest in looking at girls through keyholes for all I know). Now Joe is 3 floors up, but from his windows he can see and hear all activity in our front patio. And believe me, he does see and hear all activity.

Joe not only stands at the window observing like a vulture, readying himself to scream at us the second his decibel meter clicks above the background level, he tries to hide. If you look up at Joe’s window all you see is the top of his stupid little head bobbing up and down like an old wrinkly buoy in water.

Last week it was my roommate’s birthday so for a few hours before the club we had her friends round. Yes, we were being loud – and so one of our neighbours did the correct thing to do in that scenario: He shouted ‘shut the fuck up, it’s midnight!’ out his window. No problem neighbour, I apologise.

But what does Joe do? Call the police. Dirty rat.

So the police walk into our flat and the first thing they do is apologise. Apparently it was the second night in a row he had called them about our flat and had done so before. Why, in 2012, do we think it’s okay to alert the police to everything? Deal with your own problems!

This picture is of a poster quite close to where I live, I saw it walking home from work. I wasn’t aware that Glasgow had turned into an industrial product line for creating snitches! If the police want to find out who writes graffiti, drops litter or makes loud noise – let them find out themselves. They are the police officers.

I can’t be the only person who, when watching Goodfellas, wanted to put my hands through the screen at the end when he is testifying against his family and strangle his stupid rat neck!

This current bout of anger might be due to the catalyst that is that stupid neighbour of mine – I’m not always this hostile towards the idea, however in any light – who the fuck does that?!

If you proudly display a Neighbourhood Watch badge outside your house – please just kill yourself and do us all a favour.


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